the virus

I wanted to sit down and write this because the situation the entirety of the world finds itself in right now is, to say the least, disorienting. It's truly an eerie feeling to know that you are living through a moment in history that your kids will learn about in school. It is as if we have been plucked out of our normal realities and placed on the set of a post-apocalyptic war epic. It feels like a dream. And a nightmare. 

First and foremost, I’d like to document exactly what is happening. At the moment: schools are shut down, public gatherings are banned, if you dare cough in public you are instantly shunned, people of asian descent are being attacked in the streets because this virus was said to have originated in China, the public is stockpiling up on toilet paper, hand sanitizer, and non-perishable food items, the shelves at the markets are empty, and the government has declared a national state of emergency. People are scared. This pandemic has induced a level of fear and anxiety unlike any I have seen in my lifetime. There is a mental shift that has taken place as people are forcibly shaken from their daily routines. There is a constant air of distrust sown into every conversation as we gloss over the elephant in the room with sweetening and unnerving pleasantries. Neighbors who were once friends become potential competitors for resources. This virus is all consuming, physically and mentally, as every two minutes someone else's bubble of safety bursts. It's as though a layer of fog has descended upon civilization, one that everyone can see yet no one can grasp. 

This is the difference between today’s pandemic and 9/11 and any number of world wars or natural disasters: now it's personal. Up until now, the fears of others and the problems of the world were insignificant because they did not directly impact our realm of life. This is not meant as a jab to humanity saying that up until now people were simply too selfish to care about the qualms of the world. This is simply a general observation as to the uniqueness of this pandemic. COVID-19 does not discriminate. It knows no race, religion, or creed. It knows no social or economic status. Everyone from celebrities to professional sports players to your neighbor to you, all poses the same risk of contracting this illness. The reason this pandemic has been empowered to create an entirely new social and psychological atmosphere is because we are no longer dealing with a problem whose presence is understood primarily through sympathy, but through empathy. No matter where you find yourself at this moment, you are able to comprehend, intimately, the immediate threat this virus holds over you and your loved ones. We no longer have to suspend our disbelief to put ourselves in the shoes of those that are suffering because we are already there.

Furthermore, we are reaching a point in this pandemic where we as a race are running out of psychological defense mechanisms to throw at this virus. Humor was the first to go after the quarantine was set. What was once a joke is now too honest to be funny. Scapegoating was short lived as people of all races and countries are now affected. Ignoring the problem became impossible once people were forced out of their monotony. Stripped of our shields, where now do we turn? This is the second contributing factor to this new dimension of communal thinking: psychologically, we are naked. Previously, we were able to cover up those voices in our heads with television, instagram, parties, school, and work. They never really went away, but we were satisfied with our ability to drown them out for a while. So what happens when we tire of those distractions and what was once background music crawls to the forefront? We are forced to face the fact that we are all vulnerable. We are all weak. We are mortal, fragile creatures. One day here and gone the next. This virus strips us of our cerebral defenses so that we must unwillingly confront the one universal truth that dare never be spoken: one day we will all die. And if that doesn't scare you then you're lying to yourself. But don't worry, if this virus continues to vein through the continents the way it has, you won't be able to lie to yourself for much longer. We are at the point in the fairytale now where the dragon is waking up and we can feel the fire behind our backs, the tendrils of heat creeping up our neck. It is real and it is overwhelmingly terrifying.

But, the fairytale never stops here. If all you can hear right now is the fear that seems to be sucking all the oxygen from the room and the sound of the world holding its breath waiting to see what disaster will befall next, then you are missing the most critical page of the story. Replacing sympathy with empathy offers us a front row seat to the unfolding of love in the midst of darkness.

Let me ask you:

Are gatherings still taking place online?

Are students still continuing to learn? Have some students even been placed in a more optimal learning environment, where they are not distracted or harassed by their peers?

Are soul to soul connections still being made, as people share their stories and reconnect with old friends through technology?

Are families spending more time together?

Is the scarcity of items putting into perspective how much we take for granted?

Are people finally being given the opportunity to slow down, refocus and recenter?

Does all this free time and whirlwind of emotions not create space for beautiful art to form? For personal growth and healing to develop?

Is there not a saving grace in knowing that we are never fully in control? In having no other option than surrender?

Just as there is beauty in pain, there is growth in discomfort and light in darkness. As much as this virus presents itself as hate, it inadvertently illuminates love. Because hate is a magnet for love. When hate presents, it draws out love in response. It might not always be in the ways we expect, and if we are not paying attention we might miss it. But we can and must take comfort in knowing that love’s response is always greater than hate's initiation. The takeaway for myself in all of this mess? Love never fails. Love is action, it adapts, it overcomes, it conquers, it finds a way when there is none, it breaks down walls, it never walks but runs, it endures, it protects, it surrounds, it sacrifices, and it thrives in the most hostile conditions. 

It might not seem like it right now, but we will all make it to the other side of this, one way or another. We will reach a point where we look back on this virus as a memory. We will reach the end of the fairytale, knowing how the story finishes, and find strength in telling it again because the lesson of love is worth reliving through the uncertainty.